YOUR PARENTS (DANCING WITH THE STARS)

Your parents well may they be

On the arts faculty

NPR keeps them sane

Would vote Al Gore again

At their place, I suppose

We’d discuss Charlie Rose

Keep their house a trifle cool

- They don’t waste fossil fuels

 

But your parents it could be

Travel extensively

Holidays in the sun

Each in Facebook albums

When Christmastime comes around

I’ll get a book by Dan Brown

Then your parents it could be plain

Are just a bit of a pain

 

I'm prepared to let it go

Fox News or HuffPo

I’m prepared to compromise

Eat your mom’s peanut butter pies

Whatever it takes I’ll do and more

I'll pet their gross old Labrador

Tolerate their La Traviatas

Even watch Dancing With the Stars

 

But your parents and why not

Spend weekends on their yacht

Drive off-road, love to ski

Sixty’s the new thirty

If your parents live for sports

Take us to golf resorts

 Your parents well maybe then

We won’t see that much of them

 

But your parents probably

Like to play Monopoly

Just got season tickets

Baseline Box for the Mets

Your parents always order

Two glasses of ice water

Your parents may of course

Be retired from the workforce

 

I'm prepared to let it go

Fox News or HuffPo

I'll betray all my convictions

I’ll eat hog maw and chitlins

Whatever it takes I’ll do and more

Criticize the guy next door

I’ll endure their Saturn Astras

Even watch Dancing With the Stars

 

And your parents, they may be well meaning

Folk who watch Carly Simon specials in the evening

And then say, “The washing up can just wait till the morning.”

With your mother always telling us to take the

leftover chicken

On Sunday evening as we head back to Brooklyn

And your father asking me:

“So Benedict, Don’t you think you’re a little bit old for my daughter?”

 

Whatever it takes I’ll do and more

I'll pet their gross old Labrador

Open cans of jellied dog food

Chloe’s told us so much about you